Photoset

I was in Europe last month! Here is one photo from each city I visited. And below is a brief impression I had of each of those cities, explained by comparing each to an American city. Except for one.

(NOTE: of course you can easily poke holes in all of these comparisons. Whatever.)

Amsterdam is the San Francisco of Europe. Passionate about pot and sexual freedom and bicycles.

Brussels is the Salt Lake City of Europe. Clean and well managed, but largely cold and charmless.

Berlin is the Chicago of Europe. Large and kind of dirty but with pockets of urban beauty, also unable to escape its history of corruption.

Helsinki is the Atlanta of Europe. No aesthetic identity, and has perhaps surprisingly hosted a Summer Olympics.

St Petersburg is the Philadelphia of Europe. Barely able to contain its huge population, holds on to what history it can, used to be the nation’s capitol.

Tallinn is the Savannah of Europe. Smaller than its nearby counterpart, but holds on to its history much better. An oasis of old-fashioned charm.

Copenhagen is the Minneapolis of Europe. Beautiful with its ubiquitous parks, cyclists, and bodies of water, and has a feisty streak of liberal and libertarian politics.

Which leaves Stockholm. There is no American equivalent of Stockholm. However, if you’ve ever played any version of the SimCity games, and played with a cheat code so that you could make your city be totally perfect and have all of your citizens happy and taken care of, that’s what Stockholm is like.

Other analogies that have occurred to me from my earlier experiences: London is the New York of Europe, Rome is the Boston of Europe, and Spain is the Southern California of Europe.

I loved my trip very, very much. I want to go back to most of these places. Most of all Sweden and Denmark. St Petersburg is a fucking zoo; if you ever plan on going there, go in the winter so that you don’t feel like a cow in a cattle car everywhere you go. And stay off the roads.

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Today is a day of strolling through Copenhagen with tunes and cocoa.

Today is a day of strolling through Copenhagen with tunes and cocoa.

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Dave and I just ate bear meat in Estonia. So that’s what life is like for me these days.

Dave and I just ate bear meat in Estonia. So that’s what life is like for me these days.

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Hello from Stockholm, a city that makes up for in wifi hotspots what it lacks in… any negative aspects, pretty much.

Hello from Stockholm, a city that makes up for in wifi hotspots what it lacks in… any negative aspects, pretty much.

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One more lunch in Amsterdam

One more lunch in Amsterdam

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I’m eating Belgian waffles without you

I’m eating Belgian waffles without you

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This is not in Amsterdam, believe it or not

This is not in Amsterdam, believe it or not

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Interesting slogan

Interesting slogan

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I am in this picture of the place in Brussels where I am.

I am in this picture of the place in Brussels where I am.

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Hi I am having lunch in a place where vices are more legal.

Hi I am having lunch in a place where vices are more legal.

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This me at lunch in Amsterdam just now.

This me at lunch in Amsterdam just now.

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You, my tumblr droogies, should know that Dave and I are at the airport. And destinations are afoot. Many, many destinations.
You know what I like? Destinatons.

You, my tumblr droogies, should know that Dave and I are at the airport. And destinations are afoot. Many, many destinations.

You know what I like? Destinatons.

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An open letter to a super fella!

Dear Vladmir Putin,

I have heard of your deeds and I think that you are very great! I am a pro-Russian separatist in the state of Minnesota, and I can tell you that many of us here feel that we would be better off if only we were part of the Russian Federation instead of our current country (United States).

Will you please invade us and rule over us? It’s so sad for us to be governed by our own sovereign government when we so badly wish that you were in charge instead.

When I was in middle school there were some strong boys that used to protect me. All I had to do was give them my lunch money every day (it kept me skinny!) and let them dunk my head in the toilet sometimes. But it was worth it because no one else harmed me except for sometimes. You could be like those wonderful middle school boys! I have even more lunch money now than I did in middle school.

Please take over my region! My friends and I already held a referendum and the majority of us that voted (just me) have agreed to let you graciously take over by force. I just wish you could have invaded us sooner, but those pesky Olympics made you have to pretend to be diplomatic until after February.

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Someone extremely awesome recently told me she likes pictures of my face. Check this one out, @babyraebunz. That is so my face in a picture. You are awesome.

Someone extremely awesome recently told me she likes pictures of my face. Check this one out, @babyraebunz. That is so my face in a picture. You are awesome.

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srsfunny:

Two Characters, Same Descriptionhttp://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

srsfunny:

Two Characters, Same Description
http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

(via aimee-b-loved)